Day 3 - Exactly What I Expected, but BEHOLD the Chocolate Milkshake

Yep, I knew it.  I knew I'd be feeling it by today (actually it set in late last night).  Headaches, sore muscles and joints, brain fog, tiredness, bagel cravings, it's all having it's way with me.  I can't drive past Einstein's Bros. Bagels without salivating profusely.  Neeeeeed staaaaaaarch!  And I'm not even going to mention that picture I saw yesterday on Pineterest of the chocolate chip cookie with an Oreo inside.  Inside!!! 


Last night, Ryan and I were both collapsed in a heap on the couch complaining relentlessly about our sad cleansing side-effects when we had a brief moment of clarity at exactly the same time.  I said, "if this is how we feel when we're eating healthy..."  And he finished my sentence by saying, "it's scary to think about how totally fine we feel when we're pounding the crappy stuff".  It really is scary to think that in our culture, our bodies have become so used to being fed processed sugars, sodium, preservatives, food dyes, artificial sweeteners, trans-fats, saturated fats, and processed grains stripped of all their nutrients, that we actually feel sick when we eliminate them from our diet.  You guys, not to be a nervous nellie or anything but, OHMYGOSHWE'REALLDOOMEDIFWEKEEPTHISUP!  


Anyhoo, on a more positive note, let's talk about shakes.  I don't know if you're with me on this but some mornings my green shake is hard to even look at let alone drink.  In fact, I had a friend email me this morning saying that she might actually come paint ball my house if I didn't give her some alternatives to the standard green shake recipe (which usually includes a variety of fruits mixed with mostly spinach).  And let me just tell you, I take this woman at her word as I have known for, like...ever (seriously, since we were about yea big - hands placed about 12 inches apart).  Not that having my house paint balled would make it any less attractive at this point considering I ran my own car into the front of it a few weeks ago.  Yes I did.  Wait, technically my car ran itself into my house right after I got out and left it in DRIVE!  I completely agree.  I need counseling.  Okay, where were we?  Green shakes, right.  I downloaded this list off some website (can't remember which one) a few years ago to give me some ideas.  I make some variation of at least one of these every day and I usually add in a few extra ingredients such as hemp seed, avocado, chia seed, lemon zest, ginger, lime juice, parsley, cucumber, wheat germ (one of my favorites), cinnamon (it's good I swearz), shredded coconut, or ground flaxseed.  Not all of those together - blech!  Just two or three.  I know Jenny has a few things she likes in her shakes that aren't on my list.  But I can't think of them right now.  Sorry.  Brain fart.


Good Green Shake Bases:

Kale-Orange
1 bunch dino kale 
2 oranges 
6 strawberries 
1 cup of grapes

Kale-Strawberry-Peach
1 bunch green kale
1 pint strawberries
3 small peaches
2 cups water

Peach-Spinach
6 peaches
2 handfuls of spinach leaves
2 cups water

Apple-Kale-Lemon
4 apples
½ lemon juice
5 leaves of kale
2 cups water

Pear-Kale-Mint
4 ripe pears
5 leaves of kale
½ bunch of mint
2 cups water

Strawberry-Banana-Romaine
1 cup strawberries
2 bananas
½ bunch romaine
2 cups water

Watermelon Smoothie 

10 strawberries 
1 bunch spinach 
1 cup water.
One half small seeded watermelon, peel and all

Orange-Mango-Banana Smoothie
1 bunch dandilion grens (if you don't like these, use some kale or green leaf lettuce)

2 1/2 cups spinach 
1 orange remove orange part of peel with knife, leave the white as it is high in calcium 
1 mango 
1/2 banana

And if you're just sick and tired of green shakes, consider trying this bad boy (thanks again to my iphone).  It's PACKED  with protein.

Raw Chocolate Milkshake Miracle (original recipe from My New Roots)
1/4 cup hemp seeds (or use soaked almonds, cashews, or sunflower seeds)*
2 heaping Tablespoons raw cacao powder
1 avocado
1 very large frozen banana (or 2 small)
2 Tablespoons raw agave or honey
dash sea salt
2-3 drops stevia
3/4 - 1 cup water
4 ice cubes


*Hemp seeds have a bitter, no, nutty, no...hempy flavor I guess.  I like it with hemp seeds but if you aren't accustomed to the strong taste, use almonds instead.


I'm achey and a little lethargic today but I'm hoping it fades over the next few days.  Yesterday I was telling Ryan of my woes and he said to me, "hun, you can't run with the big dogs if you pee like a puppy".  I don't know what he was trying to say but I thought I'd share that tid-bit of Ryan wisdom with you.


Oh Jenny, I'm sorry for my crudeness.  It's Ryan's fault.