Let me start out today by asking you how you're all doing? I was looking at our traffic feed yesterday and realized that most of you who frequent our blog have never commented. Don't worry. I get it. But today, simply because I love you all and I worry about you and I wish I could hold you in my arms and sing to you my twinkle lullaby, I hope you'll leave a comment. You don't have to tell us your life story or anything. I mean, you can tell us your life story if you want to, and we'll read it with great enthusiasm. But we're not demanding it. But you can. But don't feel like you have to. But if you do, maybe we'll send you a basket of avocados and a small bunny rabbit as a thank you gift. Okay I'll stop now.
Yesterday I was feeling pretty effing good. Although I did learn the hard way to stay far far away from the food and drink category on Pinetrest as apparently chocolate cake and massive loaves of french bread are taking over the world. Also, I woke up this morning feeling like a dozen little men were ice picking their way up my throat. I think a lot of the aches and pains I've been experiencing have actually been a head cold setting in. Totally perfect timing. Actually I'm fine. I might hork up my liver or something but no biggie.
Hey, so I have a good story for you. Two actually. But I'll do you a solid and combine them into one. You're welcome.
Several of my close friends have allowed me to brainwash them into participating in this cleanse. Or at least they say they are participating. Maybe they're lying to make me think I'm popular. Whatever. Anyway, one of them texted me late last night and said, "hey, how the heck do I get the peel off a frozen banana?". You guys, I laughed so bloody hard. It was late and granted I get punchy after 9:30 pm, but I couldn't stop imagining her trying to coax that frozen banana out of it's peel. It was only a few minutes later, after I had calmed my spastic diaphragm, that Ryan and I had this conversation:
Ryan: So, how do you choose who gets the prize at the end of this thing?
Me: (long blank stare) Prize? What prize?
Ryan: Isn't there a prize?
Me: For what? For eating healthy?
Ryan: Yeah. Like, some sort of award.
Me: Are you serious?
Ryan: Well, maybe you could pick the person who drank the most green shakes or ate the most celery or something...
Me: uh, what???
Tell me, can anyone relate to this? Is it men in general who need everything in life to incorporate the element of competition, or is it just the one I'm married to? It's like he needs a blue ribbon to pin on his lapel for being "the best" at breathing in and out every day. I calmly explained that the prize is feeling good. The prize is being healthy. The prize is not having to depend on a sugar fix to get him through the day. And he said, "what kind of prize is that?"
Right when I start thinking he's made some progress...
So, I know you just read several paragraphs of useless crap but I wanted to check in with you all today and let you all know that I've stayed on track so far. And to ask you how you are holding up? And to tell you that I'm siiiiick. It could be worse though. Take an ostrich for example. How bad would it suck to be an ostrich with a sore throat? Half the length of your body would feel like it was being bathed in steel wool. I would be one pissed off bird.
Oh wow. I've resorted to the topic of large birds. I win the prize for "most bizarre blog post".
Menu for Friday
breakfast: green shake, raw granola & berries (almond milk for Ryan)
snack: veggies and Omar's dressing for dip
lunch: left over zucchini noodles with raw marinara
snack: apple and raw chocolate pecans (recipe coming)
dinner: roasted vegetables and brown rice for Ryan, large green salad with tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, sprouts, and cilantro dressing for me
snack: banana almond shake